By Gabnon Fatcham Evariste
U14MM2049
Discipline
is key to knowledge! The evidence is that, the first responsibility every parent
undergoes in today’s society; it is the education of their children. Indeed,
children are like mirror that can reflect bad or good image of their parents through
their well-disciplined and educated behavior or otherwise. Sometimes parents lack the responsibility in
one way or another to discipline their wards. Male parents sometimes abandon
the discipline of children to the mothers, which can be inappropriate because
two heads are better than one. Likewise, mother is mother and she feels
tolerant towards children in any circumstances. Despite the fact, words are
often more memorable and vivid than the numerous sacrifices parents made for
their kids. Even though as parents we can also make mistakes in the presence of
children, but it’s helpful to know which mistakes we should try to avoid when
trying to raise them up to be the future leaders. In all believe, parents are assigned to transmit a good discipline to their children
because we are leaving in the cosmopolite society, which everybody must contribute in goodwill and
good manner that can help each of us to accept and understand others without
mindset of socio-cultural and religious barriers. Therefore, here are the
mistakes we should try to avoid as parents when we discipline our children:
1.
Avoid ferocity when you discipline your child
One of the daily big mistakes parents make is getting
enraged when they are disciplining their children. As far as the truth shows
that, we can’t learn anything in violence. Also ferocity cannot help in
correcting them. Expressing rage when you are disciplining a child is problematic
for several reasons. First, it directs your child’s attention away from his
mistake and causes him to focus on your wrath instead, because psychologically
the child may be subject to panic than a listener. The objective
of discipline is to guide your child towards proper behavior for
both short term as well as long term period. If your child is more worried
about how you will react in your anger rather than what he did that was wrong, he
is unlikely to benefit from your counsel or choice of discipline. Then, you are
transferring rage to your child, because the same way you are treating him may
be same he will treat is child. And many Social
psychology researchers have demonstrated that many children respond to an angry
parent, especially at some certain age (14 and above). Although
there is general agreement that children from violent homes have more emotional
and behavioral problems than those from nonviolent homes, the research in this
area has a number of limitations. In infants from homes with partner abuse, the
child's needs for attachment may be disrupted. More than 50 percent of these
infants cry excessively and have eating and sleeping problems. Infants are also
at a significantly increased risk for physical injury. Preschool-aged children
who witness intimate violence may develop a range of problems, including
psychosomatic complaints such as headaches and abdominal pain. They also candisplay regressive behaviors such as enuresis, thumb sucking, and sleepdisturbances.During the preschool years, children turn to their parents for protection and
stability, but these needs are often disrupted in families with partner abuse.
Increased anxiety around strangers and behaviors such as whining, crying, and
clinging may occur. Night time problems such as insomnia and parasomnias are
more frequent in this age group. Children in this age group who have witnessed
domestic violence also may show signs of terror, manifested by yelling,
irritability, hiding, and stuttering. A
number of notable 20th-century psychologists among them Sigmund Freud, Melanie Klein,
and Freud’s daughter, Anna
Freud dealt with child development chiefly from the psychoanalytic point of
view. Perhaps the greatest direct influence on modern child psychology was Jean Piaget of Switzerland. By means of direct observation
and interaction, Piaget developed a theory of the acquisition of understanding
in children. He described the various stages of learning in childhood and characterized children’s perceptions
of themselves and of the world at each stage of learning.
Secondly, most of parents express anger when correcting their child and create the
opportunity to excessive punishment
to some extent that they forget that everybody can be faulty. This can lead to
abusing your child. Often times, when a parent is angry, she or he vents the
anger onto her/his child. She/he does this by using hurtful words or harsh
smacking. To effectively discipline your child,
try your best to avoid correcting them when you are angry. However, good approach gives
good thinking…
2.
Love your children without comparism
The problem with comparing your children is that rather than causing the child to want to
comply, it makes him resentful of the other child and you. This can be given
opportunity to one hates another. The best way to show them good example can be
as follow: “when i was at your age, i did this or that….” is more preferable. Comparing children to one another can accelerate disagreements between
siblings, which only
contributes to additional discipline problems in the household and also to
quarrelsome behavior. Preferably, instead of comparing children, a better method
would be to reward and complement the child who performs as desired.
3.
Be always open with your children
A
Moundang’s proverb (in Chad republic) says: “An open room receives more
visitors”. Therefore, parents should be like a royal house or a royal palace
that receives everyday complaints from citizenry. Therefore, the more we come
closer to children, we interact with them and listen to their problem; we
finally discover their like or dislike behavioral. Thus, when interacting with our children and even when we are correcting them, we should remember to be gentle and kind with
them. People are more inclined to pleasing those they have a positive relationship
with. Speaking in a calm, respectful tone to your child does not convey a sign
of weakness and restricting to flock them sometime if it is over.
4.
Show your children what to do and do not
Parents are children’s first role models. Even older children, who model after their peers,
continue to look up to their parents for exemplar behavior. For instance, “If
parents do not regularly go for service in the Church or for daily prayers in
the Mosque, do you expect your children endeavor this on time?” Being a parent is an enormous responsibility that everyone is concerned. The best parents are those who devote their time
to show good examples to their children through words and actions. Of course,
nobody is perfect! Let your child see you taking responsibility for your errors;
apologize to others in your family when you know you’ve treated them
improperly. This will give your child an example of the proper way to correct
his mistakes with family and friends.
5.
Motivate your children towards good expectations
Often, when we discover that our child
misbehaving, we wonder why she or he’s acting in such an unpleasant way. We
must remember that none of us is perfect. We aren’t, and neither are our
children. So, once a mistake occurs from your child, it cannot automatically
deserve punishment, but warning for one to two times. Parents should let a
child knows that this is not my first time to be warning you before taking any
action. Also, we can convince accordingly to our religion principle. In sum, loving your children did not restrict from harsh punishment, if he or she cannot listen to you as parent or he/she does thing deliberately.
We have to discipline and correct our children so that they can leave and cope
anywhere they find themselves…Father and mother, these are your
responsibilities.
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