IJACHI
ALICE ADA
U14MM2019
Happiness in marriage
is the heart desire of any intending couples but the issues of marital
breakdown increases daily. Yet there will be no day in the history of Nigeria
that pastors, priest imams, and parents do not join people in the holy
matrimony. I wonder then what the problem is with marriage of today. Could it be that marriage these days are full
of young and under age people? Is it that they were not compatible? Were they
not in a relationship before answering yes? Was the man or woman an angel
before marriage and after marriage he or she suddenly turn in to zombie over
night? Whenever I look into the rate of
divorce cases handled by Nigerian courts as it increases daily and even those that
are done outside the court it baffles me on what marriage tests like. In other
words it is like an irony of life that those wishing to be married are those
running out of it.
The thing is that I
really don’t know who is affected whenever there is marital break down, the
father, mother or the children? Children most suffer when there is such
occurrence because it is either there will be step-mother molestation or
depraving the child to the warm parental love and upbringing of his mother or
father. And in a case where there are no kids yet, mothers suffer. In this
situation, women suffer most because once you are being married it will only
take a miracle or unknown years to find another who will be willing to take you
in again as a house wife. But in the case of the father he will always search
and find. So it is easier for the man to remarry.
Most of the causes of
issues in marriage are…
1
Misunderstanding and behavioral: In
marriage understanding is the most important thing to come between the man and
his wife. Know what your husband want and what he dislike the same thing goes
with the man, how to settle some kind of issues in the family, how to
communicate with each other, listening to one another when discussing etc.
In
the aspect of behavior sometimes the problem is how each of them behaves
towards each other. Do they respect each other’s opinion? Is the wife totally
submissive to her husband? Are they both doing the right thing at the right
time? Most at times the woman is the one who is blamed for misbehaviours in the
marriage.
2
early marriage and not being prepaid:
these days couples get married without being ready not reaching the proper age
of getting married, what you see at times are marriage arranged by parents for
their children, this is mainly among the
elites, and they tend to educate them on how to live their lives. Getting
married and not understanding the terms and roles to be played as husband and
wife is a total challenge for the both.
3
Wife not knowing her dos and don’ts:
most times the fault comes from the woman by not performing her normal house
wife either by being too dirty inside and outside the house, not knowing how to
take care of her body rather having body odour, not knowing how to dress, cook,
etc.
4
Unfulfilled desires: some marry because
of wealth, beauty that is physical appearance and endowment. When you marry
because of all this and it turns out later to be the opposite you want to run
out of it. Also when the woman or man change suddenly after getting married and
start acting differently.
We
all know that marriage is not always what we expect it to be. It is just like
the life we are leaving, sometimes we are favoured and happily and sometimes is
the other way round. What is it then that parents cannot be considered the
effect divorce cause on us and children? Why not work out possible way together
as one family and stretch out better ways or solution to what lays in the
family a problem?
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